You’re Probably Going To Regret This …


“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.”
~Mark Twain

Most adults have regrets. I know that I do. My biggest regret?

I wish I had more confidence in my teens and 20s.

worriedwomanAs a young adult, I let low self-esteem and a fear of ridicule that sometimes bordered on paranoia stop me from making more friends, dating more, traveling, and taking other risks that ultimately make life more fun.

Like so many people, I was stuck in IfOnlyLand. If only I were prettier … If only I had more money … If only I met the right guy …

Lack of confidence kept me from accepting myself as I was and living in the moment. Can you relate?

What is your biggest regret or one thing you’d like to change from your past? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Marc Chernoff recently posted 40 Regrets You Don’t Want to Have in 40 Years on the positive living blog Marc and Angel Hack Life.

Here are five of the 40 regrets that many people can relate to. Think of them as tips for living your life better.

  • Constantly comparing yourself to everyone else. – Don’t compare your progress in life with that of others. We all need our own time to travel our own distance. It’s perfectly OK to be different. Today, the only person you should try to be better than, is the person you were yesterday. Prove yourself to yourself, not others.
  • Collecting more excuses than you can count. – If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.
  • Waiting, and waiting, and waiting until you’re ready. – Sometimes life seems hard, but we often make it harder than it is. All you ever have to decide is what to do next. It really is this simple. You don’t have to have it all figured out to move forward. Just do the best you can until you know better. Once you know better, do better.
  • Not helping others when you were able. – If you have a lot, give your wealth. If you have a little, give your heart. Just give what you can. No one has ever become poor by giving.
  • Not appreciating what you have when you have it. – We often forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but of deeply appreciating what we do have. No, you won’t always get exactly what you want. But remember this: There are lots of people who will never have what you have right now.

Read all 40 regrets here.

How do you live life with no regrets?
Mark Twain gives good advice in the rest of his quote:

Regrets-DeniseMpls

What Is Your Career Identity?


Regular readers of this blog know that the key to finding “the right job” is to seek employment that matches your career identity.

Career Identity: What you do best, what fulfills you, and what you can give to your work life.

Everyone who wants to find a job that they like, that uses their skills and talents, should be clear about their career identity.

Any student or job seeker wanting to enter a field that they will enjoy and has the potential for livable wages should know their career identity.

What is career identity, and how do you figure out what your personal career identity?

Calculate Career IdentityTo find your career identity, think about:

  • What skill sets, knowledge or interests do you want to use?
  • What activities or interests help you feel fulfilled?
  • What do you want to give to your community or work environment?

Think about your current and past jobs. What did you like about them? What types of duties or projects did you enjoy most? What skills did you like using? What type of people did you like working with or helping? The answers to these questions will help you to clarify your career identity.

Next, think about ways you can make your current job fit your career identity. Any new projects you can work on, or skills that you need to learn?

All employees and job seekers can connect with people who are working in positions to related to their career identities. Your professional community can support you as you discover and grow in your career identity.

 More from DeniseMpls:

Don’t Wish Mindy Kahling ‘Happy Birthday.’ Here’s Why …


The courageous, smart and funny Mindy Kahling has a birthday this month. I would say she’s “celebrating” her birthday, but apparently she isn’t into that sort of thing.

“Anybody can have a birthday. It requires nothing. Murderers have birthdays. It’s the opposite of anything that I believe in. And I don’t like at work where you stop everything to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to someone. I feel like that’s for children.”

Well, let’s celebrate her wit anyway.

Mindy Kahling-FOX TV

Here are a few more quotes from the “The Mindy Project” writer, producer and star.

“I never want to be called the funniest Indian female comedian that exists. I feel like I can go head-to-head with the best white, male comedy writers that are out there. Why would I want to self-categorize myself into a smaller group than I’m able to compete in?”
“Celebrities give too much advice, and people listen to it too much. In Hollywood, we all think we’re these wise advice givers, and most of us have no education whatsoever.”
“When men hear women want a commitment, they think it means commitment to a romantic relationship, but that’s not it. It’s a commitment to not floating around anymore. I want a guy who is entrenched in his own life. Entrenched is awesome.”

“I have an underdog spirit in me, and now it feels weird to kind of get my own way more often than not.”

mindy-kaling

“I get so worried about girls with body image stuff… And I feel like I have been able to have a fun career and be an on-camera talent and be someone who has boyfriends and love interests and wears nice clothes and those kinds of things without having to be an emaciated stick. And it is possible to do it. In life, you don’t have to be that way and you can have a great life, a fun life, and a fulfilling love life.”

 

More from Mindy … ‘cuz she’s awesome:

How To Find A Job Quickly


The pressure is on for new graduates and other job seekers to get hired — and a paycheck — as soon as possible.

100percentWhether you are unemployed or currently working and looking for a new job, create your job search plan before you contact employers.

You also want to explore career options that fit your financial and personal goals.

Now you are ready to look for work.

These three tips will increase your likelihood of finding the right position and getting a job offer.

1. Look for job openings online AND in person. Talking with other people and meeting employers in person will lead you to the “right” job sooner than if you only respond to online openings.

2. Don’t stop-and-start your job search with each interview. Keep applying for jobs, even when you interview for other positions. An interview does not guarantee a job offer. Continue to send out your resume even while you are waiting to hear from an employer. The only time to stop looking is when you have an official job offer in hand.

3. Don’t judge a job by its title. Read a job description or ask for more information about a job before deciding not to apply. Job titles can be misleading or confusing. Your perfect job might be hidden under the “wrong” title. If you think you meet about 75% or more of the qualifications, send in your resume.

 Also from DeniseMpls:

 

5 Tips For New Entry-Level Employees


 Thousands of people get hired every day. You will, too.

laptop-graphicWhen you start your new job, do things that set yourself up for success.

From Day One, choose to communicate and develop work habits that show your customers, coworkers and supervisors that you respect yourself and the job.

Here are 5 tips for new employees to make a good first impression.

1. Write it down. Take notes about everything the first few weeks on the job, especially when you don’t understand something. Your notes will help you know what questions to ask your supervisor later.

2. Arrive to work 10-15 minutes before your scheduled time each day. Use this time to organize your workspace and be ready to work when your shift begins.

3. Don’t Try to Change Things. According to the Savvy Intern be cautious of suggesting new policies or strategies during your first few weeks. It may not be the best way to prove you are a team player. Take time to really understand and learn your job. You can make suggestions and changes after you’ve been on the job for a few months.

4. Dress for the job you want five years from now. Your appearance and behavior let your supervisors and coworkers know that you want a promotion or special project.

5. Don’t expect hand-holding. Every company has rules, policies, and other official and unofficial work processes.  Sometimes you find out about how things work during new employee orientation – often there is little or no orientation. As said on the Savvy Intern, you may feel like you’re expected to absorb these rules by osmosis. Pay attention and ask questions, but don’t be surprised if some work processes are not explained to you.

More Info:

 

The Force Is Strong In My Rare Personality Type


You won’t meet many people like me. Do you know how many others share your personality type?

Obi-Wan Kenobi (Star Wars)

Obi-Wan Kenobi (Star Wars)

My Myers-Briggs personality type is Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging (INFJ). I, like Obi-Wan Kenobi and others like us, are thoughtful, have strong intuition, and are very nurturing.

INFJs have a natural talent for seeing the Big Picture and finding systems and order within it. At the same time, we intuitively know things about people and situations, and our intuition is usually right. This portrait of an INFJ describes my personality well, including why I have a messy desk and wold make a good Jedi.

We INFJs are pretty awesome. So awesome, in fact, that only 1-3% of the U.S. population are INFJ. The Force is strong in us.

Do you know someone who might be an INFJ? What is it like to work or live with them? Are you an INJF? What do you want others to know about you? Leave your comments below.

Because it is so rare to meet an INFJ (I’ve only met one other), I found a few examples of some famous – and some fictional – INFJs. See which celebrity,  Star Trek captain or Game of Thrones character is Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling and Judging.

Click on the photos to see other characters that might match your personality type.

Mulan (Disney)

Mulan (Disney)

Gandii

Captain Jean Luc Picard (Star Trek)

Captain Jean Luc Picard (Star Trek)

Michelle Pfeiffer (Actress)

Michelle Pfeiffer (Actress)

Khaleesi Daenerys Targaryen (Game of Thrones)

Khaleesi Daenerys Targaryen (Game of Thrones)

 

Online Myers-Briggs Quizzes:

More Info:

Also from DeniseMpls:

When The Going Gets Tough … The Tough Go To Work Anyway


Question:
smily-masksI graduated from college three years ago. Everyone said that there were lots of jobs in health care, but it took me two years to get hired in a clinic.

I’m grateful to be working, but this job is not a good fit for my skills, and it doesn’t pay enough. Now my manager is hiring new people at a higher pay rate than me, and he won’t talk to me about a raise or a promotion.

Obviously I’m looking for a better job, but it’s hard to go to work every day at a place that’s not a good fit for me. How do I keep from going crazy at a job I hate until I find a new job?

Answer:
We live in the real world where quitting is not always an option. When you wake up day after day to go to work at a bad job, remember these three things:

  1. Keep calm and carry on
  2. Find your tribe
  3. Know when to fold ‘em

Keep Calm and Carry On
guyEmotionally disconnect from that negative workplace. Find ways to let go of the anger, frustration or fear your feel about your job. Even though you don’t know when you will find a new job, remind yourself that this job is temporary.

Work is an important part of most people’s lives. When your job is not going well, be careful to not let that negativity affect your personal life. Keep calm and focus on your strengths and the positive parts of your life. This will give you energy to deal with conflicts at work.

Find Your Tribe
Happiness has a lot to do with relationships. If you don’t like the company or your job duties, the odds are your coworkers are also unhappy. Connect with one or two people who want to find ways to stay positive and productive at work. Avoid people who only complain about work and offer no real solutions. Having a friend at work makes every day easier.

Know When To Fold ‘Em
Don’t accept your bad work situation. Have an exit strategy. In the meantime, set a goals for yourself like learning a new software, serving on a committee, or other career-advancing activities. You will be more attractive to other employers after completing a major project at work, or finished school. Know what milestones you want to meet before you turn in your resignation.

More Info:

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